Local police officer Randy Smith, inspired by touching stories of ‘hero’ cops treating minorities like actual human beings, wanted to get in on the action himself. A little over 3 months ago, officer Smith made the decision that would forever change his life. When he responded to a noise complaint at the 3rd St. residence of the Jenkins family, the officer knew it was time to act, and his friends and fellow officers still can’t believe what he did.
“When I opened the door and saw a white officer standing there, I admit I was a little scared.” Remarked Nicole Jenkins, who lived in the home with her husband Shawn and their two children. “I mean, with everything going on in the country it’s easy to panic a little when you’re black and the police show up at your door, innocent or not.”
Even though the Jenkins’ weren’t the perpetrators of the noise violation, the event still changed the lives of everyone involved.
“I had been wanting to make a difference for a while, but I felt like the right opportunity wasn’t coming along for me.” Reported Smith. “I was at least hoping for the chance to buy groceries for someone caught stealing to feed their family, but that doesn’t happen nearly as often as you would think. When I responded to that noise complaint and black people opened the door I knew I had to act.”
And act, he did.
“When he asked to come in we thought he just wanted to ask us a few questions about the loud neighbors two doors down.” Jenkins told reporters. “But then he started folding the basket of laundry we had sitting on the couch and insisting we call him ‘Randall’. He was doing some sort of awful accent, I think he was trying to sound British. We were terrified at first, but folding laundry is my least favorite chore so I didn’t want him to stop.”
“With that first basket of laundry out of the way, I knew I had taken the first step.” Beamed Smith. “Ever since I was a kid watching Mr. Belvedere I have always wanted to be a wisecracking butler. When I discovered Jeffrey from Fresh Prince and even Wadsworth from Clue, I knew what I was meant to do with my life.”
After being repeatedly turned down by the International Butler Academy, Mr. Smith settled into a career in law enforcement where he wouldn’t have to deal with the rigorous screening process. But he was never truly satisfied.
“Sure, lots of people dream of being a wisecracking cop, it was fine. You can’t really crack as wise as movies would lead you to believe though. People are so sensitive these days. Plus the running, and dealing with bad guys is pretty crappy. When you’re a butler you get to dress nicely, running is considered unprofessional, and the closest you have to get to bad guys is occasionally throwing DJ Jazzy Jeff out of a foyer or vestibule.”
After three months of service, the Jenkins family has started adjusting to their new manservant, though not without concerns.
“I mean, it was like super awkward at first. After that first basket of laundry he just started dusting things. I assume he was worried we were going to ask him to leave so every time we would address him he would stop the bad British accent and start some horribly offensive one that I couldn’t quite place, and insisting that he didn’t speak English. Eventually we were exhausted and just let him keep going, thinking he’d leave when he was finished.”
However, Officer/Butler Smith had other ideas.
“Failure wasn’t an option, I knew this was my only chance. Whenever they looked like they were going to talk to me I pulled out a character I hadn’t used since the undercover mission in 2003 where we got made and my partner was killed. My ‘no English’ guy never lets me down. Plus the next day I helped little Tommy with his bully problem and I’ve been working here ever since.”
When asked about this bully situation, Shawn Jenkins remarked: “Yeah, that was bad. Our son Tommy said he felt that another 8 year old boy in the neighborhood didn’t like him very much. Randall sat down to talk to him and ask him a few questions, I assumed he was going to give him a pep talk about confidence or being a good friend. The next day, the whole city was on alert because a neighborhood boy on his way to school had been ‘pepper sprayed to within an inch of his life’… We try not to bring it up.”
As for how they are adjusting to life with a butler, Nicole said: “Honestly, it’s nice to have the help. He’s always here to tidy up, cook meals, answer the phone and the door, he runs a pretty tight ship. We don’t pay him, I’m not sure what he does for money, or where he sleeps for that matter, but it sure is nice not to have to do our own butling anymore.”
When we attempted to question Mr. Smith about these things, he started to reach for what we can only assume was a can of pepper spray and we decided to quickly take our leave.
“I said good day sir.”