For 40 years now the Make a Wish Foundation has been synonymous with making dreams come true for terminally ill children. Every 34 seconds a wish is granted in the United States and often that wish can be the spark that gives a child the strength to fight harder against their illness.
Typically these wishes involve the child and their families meeting a hero or spending time at a sporting event or Disneyland. However foundation chairman George A. Barrios says recent Wall Street developments have led to a 1,700% increase in wishes for financial relief to be given to hedge funds hit hard by savage, greedy attacks from Reddit website users.
Billy, a ten year old battling Glioblastoma told us: “I was going to ask to play XBox with Lebron, but after seeing what happened to Melvin Capital over this GameStop thing, I knew they needed it more than me. Who knows, maybe I can still game with Kobe in heaven?”
“Normally we celebrate it when our wishers use their wish for something selfless, but I’m not sure this qualifies,” said Barrios. Who went on to add “You dumb money day traders should be ashamed of yourselves. These kids should be meeting their heroes, they should be going to Disneyland. Now the only thing they want is to help these poor men meet their quarterly targets. John Cena was devastated when told the kids couldn’t see him…”
Mr. Cena was unable to be reached for comment.